Kristen Marie: Undressed & Filter-Free

THE GREED ECONOMY: What it is and what you can do about it

2012-01-02T04:58:00.000-08:00

Over the last year I have received several letters from multiple attorneys who are filing class action lawsuits against big business. It turns out, nearly every major company I’ve trusted for loans, mortgages and banking have been pillaging their customers during the worst financial crisis of our time. It is unbelievable what they have been trying to get away with. Lucky me, right?

Once upon a time in America, we enjoyed what for the most part has been a free enterprise economy . As consumers, we were the ones driving demand- if a business operated unethically, people simply wouldn't do business with them and they would not succeed. However, in the US, what has happened is that big business has grown too powerful in many cases. For example, as a consumer, I can go from bank to bank to bank. And although their name and fees may vary, they all have the same bad policies—they are just different brands of evil. Customers can go to different banks, but they will get the same bad product. It’s like a collective monopoly. Where is the freedom in this? Besides, say you are lucky enough to find a better bank, if you get a loan, they can sell it to anyone. Big business has collectively turned our free enterprise economy into a Greed Economy and they will go to any lengths to make money on the backs of those that do business with them. Way to show appreciation for the people that pay their salaries!

In the example of the bank, one could make the argument that people could just cash out their money and keep it in a box under their bed, but in a world of digital paychecks, e-transfers and electronic billing, it is becoming impossible to live in harmony with the rest of the world without a bank. Banks know you are dependent on them to exist in this world to some extent. And instead of being good stewards, they use this position to take advantage of you and often kick you when you are down.

While I've used banks as an example here, this Greed Economy goes well beyond the financial industry. It has infiltrated nearly every industry that Americans are dependent on—health care, petroleum, banking, mobile phone companies, airlines and more. All of these businesses use their collective power to charge us excessive fees for basic services like making payments, baggage and sometimes even phone calls to their business. How is it at all fair that you have to pay a fee to pay your bill? Why are you charged for luggage? Companies are out to get every cent they can get away with and ethics doesn’t seem to factor into their decision-making process at all.

The Greed Economy has not only infested corporate America, but is also hurting us at the community level as well. How often do we go to dentists and doctors and other small businesses and leave only with what we came in for? I went in to have bad filling replaced and the dentist had me nearly convinced I needed a crown. Why? Not because I needed it, but because he could bill more for it. I stood firm, left with a new filling and was fine. Businesses both large and small feel like they are entitled to their piece of the American pie and are out to take it, even if it means being “slightly” unethical.

This pervasive greed is slowly killing the strength of our country and its economy. If things continue on this path, we will find our government and its people being controlled by the wealthy and greedy few. To some extent, this is already the case. As individuals we must keep our economy in check. We cannot let ourselves participate in the greediness (even if everyone else is doing it) and we must also hold those that participate in this tyrannical disease to accountability. While I am sure there are other ways, here a few ways to do this:

1. STOP DOING BUSINESS WITH GREEDY COMPANIES TODAY. Do your research on the companies you do business with and cease to support those with greedy business practices immediately. Pull your money out of unethical banks, don’t take loans from unethical companies, do not engage in any form of business with any greedy institution. Don’t work for them either.

2. READ THE FINE PRINT and make sure you know what you are getting into. There seems to be this prevailing attitude that terms found in the fine print are just technicalities or standard agreements that won’t/can’t be enforced when it comes right down to it. This is not true—many a great legal case has been lost on the fine print. You may not know it, but you are often signing away your rights. For example, many institutions are using “innocuous” arbitration agreements. They may not seem like a big deal, but they make it very difficult for individuals to file class action lawsuits—one of the few tools the little guy has left to fight back with. They are also asking existing customers to agree to a change in terms, don’t do it!!!!!

3. SPEAK UP if you see greedy business practices. Aggressively share your fact-based knowledge with everyone you know so they don’t engage in business with that company. Report them to the proper consumer protection groups. This will protect your network from harm and eventually force greedy businesses to either change their policies or face losing customers. That is how a free enterprise is supposed to work.

4. FIGHT BACK! If you are in a position to fight back legally, do it! So many businesses have gotten away with unethical business practices for so long, they have no reason to stop. Many of them don’t even know how corrupt they are anymore. It is up to us as citizens to stop the tyranny and hold them to standards of fairness and justice.

5. CAREFULLY MONITOR YOUR POLITICIANS. Many politicians get to where they are because of big business and then maintain their spot by putting big business interests over and above the interests of their people. Watch your politicians carefully. If they are putting their pocketbook or political aspirations before the people, VOTE THEM OUT.

I know some of these things may be inconvenient and may be very difficult. As you’ll find with enough effort, there is always another way. If one does not exist, make due until it does—supply eventually meets demand. You just need to demand it. The greed can be stopped—it is just going to take everyone’s participation, and that means you.

We can all sit around and hope that the government will intervene, but they are slow to act, if at all. Historically, government tends to respond to a problem after much of the damage is done and it’s reached the crisis stage. When it comes to averting a crisis and mitigating the body count, it is up to us. This is our country, let's keep it that way.

My Letter to the People of Power and Responsibility

2011-10-21T15:15:00.000-07:00

Dear People of Power and Responsibility,

In the midst of all this economic turmoil, greed, corruption and allegations of dirty doings, I would like to make a case for humanity as a whole.

I would like you to take note that when you strip us of our clothes, our cars, our “things”. When you accept that despite the genetic fact that some of us are male, female, black, white, brown− things that amount to nothing more than physical characteristics, and stand us naked in the square, we are all the same. Even you, when stripped bare of all your worldly stature would be undifferentiated. You, like all the rest of us, are simply a human, with the same basic requirements as the rest of us: to love, be loved, to eat, drink and progress. You face the same challenges and are limited by death, just as we are.

What perplexes me so is that you, sitting on high, continue to take people that are the same, and elevate some while pushing down others. You look at two oranges and you dictate that one is more valuable, more flavorful, and therefore more entitled than the other. You assess people’s value based on how much money they make, how attractive they are, what they smell like and what they can offer you. You focus on their outward gains, but fail to look inward and take assessment of their soul.

When making these assessments, you take into consideration your own prejudices, your own beliefs. Regardless of your own gender, you say women are weaker, men are strong. Regardless of your color, you say men and women of another color are not as good−they are more inclined to bad behavior or criminal activity. When you come across people that are different than you, you are scared and instead of trying to understand them, you persecute them. When two people commit a crime, you sit there, fixed in your throne, and punish some while giving absolution to others based on your personal opinion.

I beg and plead for you to remove the blinders of your own self-importance and see us all for whom we really are: human beings, brothers, sisters, people that are equal and equally entitled to the blessings and strife of this world. I beg and plead for you to not judge others on their outward appearances or social status, their gender or race. I beg and plead for you to make decisions based on what is most right, not what is easiest or most comfortable. I beg and plead with you to stop pointing fingers at others and turn them upon yourself instead. I beg and plead for you to love all human beings and accept that we are all good souls, perhaps just on different learning curves. I beg and plead for you to see us as one people, one humanity instead of separating and compartmentalizing us with your own limited perceptions.

Who are these “People of Power and Responsibility”? You are the politicians, the community and religious leaders, the media, business men and women, HR directors and teachers. You are the voters, the movers and the shakers, the people of influence, the mothers, the fathers, the teenagers and the children. You are the whole of the entire world boiled down to one:YOU.

You no longer have the luxury of sitting there complicit, blaming others for the state of things when you have the power within yourself to make a difference. It is time to function at a higher level. It is time to look within and change your own flawed perceptions and prejudices. It is time to treat others more fairly and be honest in all your dealings. It is time to go out into the world and stamp out injustices, big and small, actively seeking out the changes that will improve and preserve our world for all. No more sitting on the fence, no more complaining over the state of things- it is time to get out there, make your contributions and earn your place in this world.

Sincerely,
Kristen Marie

Do Souls Have a Gender?

2011-08-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

I find myself in the luxurious and rare position of having nothing important to do and a quiet house. Knowing that it’ll probably be another year until this happens again, I thought I might take this opportunity to write about something that’s been on my mind for a few months. Let me warn you, this is purely philosophical and I have no answers, just questions that lead to more questions.

For this to make any sense, you should probably understand a core belief of mine. I believe that the human body and the soul are separate entities. I believe the soul is always in search of progression and that’s what drives us to be better and do more−without our souls, there’s a good chance we might still be cavemen (or monkeys if you sit in Darwin’s camp).

As humans with bodies, we get hungry, our bodies need water, activity and like most species, we are either male or female and we have an instinctual desire to procreate. As neuroscience has proven, there are a lot of chemicals in the brain that make this attraction happen− things like testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin−chemicals that bond us and create the wonderful feelings of love and desire we humans love.

So, taking into consideration my philosophies about the soul and what science proves is true with the body, I am led to wonder. When you separate the soul from the body and all its sex hormones, does it still have a gender? I mean, it’s a soul, not a body with a physical needs and desires.

What originally got me thinking about this were my relationships with people. Do you ever just meet someone on the street and without explanation; you bond with them− perhaps for just that moment, or in some cases, for a lifetime? I experience this all the time. I meet new people regularly and I find there are some people I just instantly feel a connection with. I feel like my soul senses similar souls and just bonds with them. Sometimes this feeling is very strong and they become soul mates of sorts. This connection is completely non-sexual and happens with both men and women equally. There are just people that have more significance than others.

Adding to this, I have to consider my relationship with my husband. When he and I first met, I wasn’t overcome with love, lust or this overwhelming desire to rip his clothes off. Instead, what I felt was an instant connection with him, not unlike that which I’ve had with my closest, most treasured friends, both male and female. And while we share an incredible intimate physical life together, the thing that keeps us coming back to each other is the soul connection we both share with each other. The thing is, when I think about it and when I’m completely honest with myself, what makes our relationship the beautiful and powerful thing it is has nothing to do with the fact that he is a male and I am a female. What makes our relationship the thing I can’t live without is the simple fact that our souls magnify when we’re together. We are powerfully drawn together. And for me, I’d rather have a soul connection than one based on a release of chemicals that will wane after the first few years.

So as I said in the beginning, this question only brings more questions. Does a soul have a gender? Or do we just assign genders to our souls because the physical part of us, our brain can better understand that concept? Or there is the other possibility, that our souls, like our bodies, have a gender. However, when I think of a pure soul, possibly this being of light or something else we cannot comprehend, I don’t know why something pure like that would need a gender. A gender is a function of biology—for procreation more than anything else. But, perhaps growth comes by experiencing life as one gender over another- something people who believe in past and future lives would likely ascribe to- but then again, that would be more a physical experience…. And, if it could be both, wouldn’t that mean it was only one?

Like I said, it is a question that leads to more questions- not answers. You can never really prove or disprove matters of the soul, it is just something people believe or don’t believe and opinions around it are usually based entirely on how it feels and resonates, not anything tangible. I know this is a rather unusual question and many of you might wonder why it’s even important. It just seems to me the more we understand about the soul, the more likely we are to grow it or empower it. And, going on the premise that we are part body and part soul, it is something we are either at conflict with or in harmony with every day. Plus, it’s just an interesting question with far reaching implications−one that could be the basis of all kinds of good discussions. Thanks for reading, and, as always, if you like it or anything I write, please SHARE!

F U Hollywood. Bad Boy Fairytales Don’t Have Happy Endings

2011-06-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

So, I took my teenagers (I can’t believe I’m this old) to see Disney’s “Prom” a little while back. It was a “good girl falls for bad, brawling boy who is really nice” and blah blah blah story. And, although cliché, I was actually happy with the female characters for once- they were pretty strong in contrast to the weak, damsel in distress characters Disney usually personifies. So, I didn’t give it too much thought. Then just the other day, my daughter starts talking about her friend’s boyfriend and how he was being a jerk, but had mental issues, so her friend needed to just be more patient. After that comment, I kind of wanted to drop kick that movie into oblivion. Like any mother who wants nothing but happiness for her kids, I immediately went on a mini-rant that went something like this: “Be nice and understanding, but DON’T EVER date a guy with emotional problems. EVER!!!” My 13 year old, who is used to my quasi hippie “love everyone” attitude was taken aback. “But mom, they’re people too” she said. I was secretly very proud of her but said. “Yes they are and love them as people, but don’t marry them; all you will be doing is exchanging your happiness for theirs. They will hold you back and make life harder than it already is.”

I know, I sound like and elitist b*yatch, but here’s the reality. Hollywood likes to glamorize “bad boys” and makes them into heroes constantly, and while movies have happy endings, in real life, the bad, troubled, angry boys that play to our sympathies <A big, sarcastic “Thank you Hollywood”> often lead to our demise. I know real women that married these troubled boys and while it seemed “romantic” in the beginning, ultimately ended painfully and in some cases, violently. In respect for my friends, I won’t go into too much detail, but here’s a list of a few of the outcomes: suicide, attempted murder suicide, manslaughter, physical abuse and incest. Adding insult to injury, all of these terrible outcomes happened after years and years of struggling to get theses bad/troubled/angry boys help, properly medicated and under control. All of this hard work, years and years of pain, betrayal and abuse (children and wife) were rewarded with near death experiences, terrible losses and being left to clean up the disasters these boys left for them.

Ladies, bad boys are not a cross you want to bear. I know there are exceptions and I know everyone has equal value in the ultimate scheme of things, but when it comes to dating and ultimately choosing the guy you’re going to spend your life with, the troubled guys are best kept as friends. Support them, try to help them when it doesn’t interfere with your own happiness, but don’t go down that path. Yeah, it may seem cool when he’s up in some other guys grill defending your honor, but remember, that anger will one day be directed at you or your kids and it won’t feel cool at all. Or, say he’s not violent, but emotionally troubled. Hollywood likes to portray these guys as deep, feeling lone-wolf types in black that you feel sorry for. That gothic anti-social who does what he pleases or always needs “him time”, isn’t going to be so sexy when he is depressed, can’t keep a job and self-medicates with booze. How are you going to feel when he can’t deal with life, help you with the bills and the kids and you are left carrying the burden of everyone 24/7? And what happens when he decides to end it all because he just can’t bear his failures anymore? Is he going to leave you a terrible mess? Or worse, will he plan on taking you with him? Not so romantic.

As women, it is in our nature to be caretakers. We see the best in everyone and want to bring it out in them, I know, I’ve taken on a project or two myself. The key is seeing people for who they are, not what they could be. Continue to be supportive and kind to everyone, but don’t sabotage your own life by sharing it with someone who isn’t ready to be an equal partner emotionally. Maybe they will be healthy someday, but there are no guarantees. You could waste a lifetime having faith that someone will change, only to be left disappointed. And in the case of someone with emotional problems, you may not only waste your life for theirs, but you may lose it.

As for Hollywood: I’m sending a big “F You” your way. Stop perpetuating the pain by glamorizing troublemakers and ultimately abuse. There’s nothing pretty or cool about it.

Sometimes I Hate Organized Religion

2011-05-31T16:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I hate organized religion. No, I don’t have a tolerance problem- I feel like everyone should worship or not worship the way they please. I also think people should live the way they please-just so long as everyone is honest about who they are and nobody tries to step on my personal experience and indoctrinate me into their personal view of the world, unsolicited. And no, I’m not an atheist. I believe there is some order to this world we all share and it had to come from somewhere. I think there are powerful truths all around us and bits and pieces of answers that lead to the ultimate truth, but I don’t believe anyone here really knows all the answers- and for them to profess to “know” is a lie. Without proof, it’s faith and faith has never been truth. What I’m trying to say is, I’m not against spirituality, or the people who belong to its many iterations. What I hate about organized religion is that ignorant people try to take something that is spiritual, pure and ethereal and try to humanize it by defining it, organizing it and assigning rules and guidelines. Because of our limited capacity as mortals, all we are doing is dumbing it down and polluting it with our limited understanding and then asking others to drink it up. Spirituality is free, belongs to everyone equally and cannot be defined or managed. Spirituality should be a solo activity.

One of the primary things I hate about organized religion is the solipsistic nature of it. Nearly every religion’s survival is dependent on the fact that they are right and everyone else is wrong. Most religious groups are based on the church and its members believing that they somehow know more than everyone else, that their way is the only right way and that everyone else is ignorant or missing out. I was raised Mormon- they believe only the most righteous Mormon followers will earn the right to enter the Celestial Kingdom. The Jehovah’s Witnesses believe a mere 144,000 have the "heavenly hope" and will make it to high heaven. I’m not a religious scholar, so I cannot speak for every religion, but most religions are built around this idea that only the most elite will reach the highest degree of glory, and everyone else, well they’re damned or might as well be with the insignificance they are destined for. How can this be right? What this means is that no matter how religious you are, no matter how good you are, your salvation is dependent on being a member of a certain church. I could go on a white collar crime binge, steal everyone’s retirement, ruin the lives of many and then go to my selected church, repent, feel bad, promise to never to do it again and then get my VIP pass to heaven. Then you take someone like Mother Teresa, and well, if she doesn’t belong to the right religion, she’s hosed. It is my opinion that this isn’t religion, but unadulterated egocentrism.

I also hate the way organized religion is like a lobotomy for many. There are millions of religious people claiming to be on God’s side (or Allah’s or Buddha’s or Christ’s or Yaweh’s or Zeus’), all with their own doctrines that have amazingly similar themes, examples of extraordinary miracles, and a tight knit community of people who will do anything their leaders tell them. If a religious leader tells their people to blow themselves up, feed their kids poison or commit suicide so they can hitch a ride with a spaceship, their followers will do it. Yeah, those are extreme examples, but I will guarantee if the Pope or a Mormon Prophet or Chief Rabbi were to tell their people to cleanse the world of its heathens (not that they would), a good portion of them would go on a killing spree in the name of God. While that seems unfathomable, it’s happened. It’s like being religious gives people permission to defy all logic, discard laws, devalue life and others personal freedoms. How is that in any way God like?

Of course, there is religious guilt and fear. This form of emotional control might as well be a set of hand-cuffs and leg irons with all the binding it does. So many people try so hard to do everything perfectly and yet, at the end of the day, because they took a sip of alcohol, didn’t read their religious texts or had a fight with their spouse or kids, all of the goodness they created is washed away by the guilt they feel for not being perfect (according to their particular religions definition) and the fear they have for not being good enough to make it into heaven. The side effect of this fear is often judgment towards others and the inevitable building of walls- walls that keep people who are like them in and everyone who could “contaminate” them out. It’s just another form of elitism, only instead of being elitist about knowing more, this elitism is based in fear and it makes people do all kinds of crazy things like genocide or flying planes into buildings.

Perhaps I should start my own religion. I’ll call it the religion of “Love”. In my religion you won’t have to wear funny clothes and you don’t have to chant or speak in tongues (unless you want to). My bible will be short, probably one page and the only word on it will be “Love”−maybe I’ll throw in the golden rule, just to make it look more substantial, but that’s it. I’m also going to love all my members, and I mean really love them, not the conditional love you find in other religions, but the kind of love that accepts that everyone is doing the best that they can and that everyone is on their own learning curve. Everyone will accept each other and work towards personal enlightenment through loving themselves and others. There will be no rules and no membership necessary- it is available to all whether or not they ever attend a service. And there will be no right and wrong, only learning experiences. In my religion there will be no hell- because my God will be pure and love all the souls equally, even when they forget to love each other sometimes. There will be no need for heaven either, because it will be all around each and every day.

Now that’s a religion that I could support!